Kayden Kross Official Blog: The kind they make with wood. @ Kayden Kross's Official Site

Monday, November 30, 2009

The kind they make with wood.

I understand this whole "progress" thing we're all on with phones that run our errands and substitute for relationships and "green" everything from cosmetics to phones that run our errands and relationships, but some things are fine as they are.

For example: Christmas trees.

LA seems to disagree. You should have seen the shock and awe I was met with when I tried to buy one today. I called ahead to make sure they had Christmas trees before I showed up, because no one else did and I was sick of driving around and finding out the hard way. They said they had Christmas trees. "Real Christmas trees?", I asked suspiciously. "Real Christmas trees," they said. I drove straight there. I walked in and looked around. More fake plastic trees were stacked by the door. I asked where the real ones were. The security guard pointed behind him to the boxed trees. I told him that trees that came in boxes were plastic and therefore not real. He looked at me quizzically and pointed me in the manager’s direction.

The manager also tried to point me to the boxed trees. I told him I wasn't looking for plastic trees, that I’d called ahead to avoid the exact situation I had once again found myself in, and that they shouldn’t tell people they have real trees when they don't. He asked what I meant by 'real trees.' I sighed. Heavily. I explained that real trees were the kind that grew out of the ground and back in the olden days people used to cut them down, back before all things American were replaced with plastic. His response? "Oh! You mean the kind they make with wood? We don’t carry those."

I guess tomorrow I’ll be more specific. I’ll ask for the Christmas trees they make with wood.

posted by Kayden Kross on 1:44 AM :: 7 comments

7 Comments:

That's why you should move down South. A plethora of "real" Christmas trees for you to choose from :-).

By Hays, at November 30, 2009 9:39 AM

The level of stupidity some people exhibit is mind-boggling.

By Nick, at November 30, 2009 10:10 AM

I had the same experience when I went looking for an orgasm - a real orgasm, with a girl - and all I found was porn.

By Grant, at November 30, 2009 11:23 AM

Those bastards! x

By Levi, at November 30, 2009 11:33 AM

methinks you entering ANY retail environement and asking for wood would be priceless. i'mmmmmmm thinking you would get wood everytime ;)

By the artful dodger, at November 30, 2009 12:07 PM

Christmas tree in LA???????????????????

By bbrazilking, at November 30, 2009 4:08 PM

You know, you can get Christmas trees at Ralph's. They're right outside the store. Also, not 100% sure, but I believe there's a big lot that sells nothing but Christmas trees in Glendale.

By Kaijen, at December 8, 2009 3:38 AM